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Theologian Response
Exodus 21:10 declared that a wife was entitled to a divorce if her husband did not provide food, clothing and marital rights (sometimes euphemistically referred to as “oil”). In later Jewish courts of law, deprivation of any of these three necessities was seen as grounds for granting a woman a divorce. Likewise in contemporary Christian homes abuse sometimes takes the form of withholding that to which the victim is rightfully entitled - affection, companionship, assistance with childrearing and household tasks. Sometimes the abuse is denial of a basic human right- that of rest ( see Ex. 20:8-11; Deut. 5:12-15; Ex 23:12) In some faith communities dedicated Christian women are cruelly overloaded with the entire responsibility of providing financial support for their husband’s theological education while also assuming all household responsibilities. When Sylvia’s husband embarked on a very ambitious program through both seminary and graduate school, she struggled to work a full time job as well as doing all the cleaning, laundry, marketing, and the care of several children. Seldom did the heavy demands allow her to get a full night’s sleep. On week-ends the husband was involved in ministry activities, and any requests that concern be given to Sylvia’s own needs, interests or concerns were met with reprimands that she was becoming “emotional” rather than “logical.” More of a slave than a person, exhausted and embittered, she came after many years to realize that she had been exploited by the excessive workload and thus deprived of her own dreams for a meaningful marriage and a ministry of her own.
Dr. Catherine Clark Kroeger, President, Peace and Safety in the Christian Home (PASCH)
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