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Pastor Response
Usually there are warning are warning signs that a person is an abuser. Sometimes those warning signs include behaviors that we can confuse with feeling wanted, needed, and special. Indicators may include:
- the desire for constant contact;
- needing to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing at all times;
- teasing that makes you feel humiliated;
- conflict avoidance, always appearing to agree with you, seeming to have a charming false front to the world
- throwing things at you, punching, slapping, biting, kicking, hitting, shoving
- intimidation and threats towards you and/or others
- lying, withholding of information, manipulation
- yelling, lewd comments, name-calling, twisting your words and actions against you
- trying to control the way you dress
- ignoring your feelings, ridiculing your beliefs
- withholding of approval, affection, and appreciation
- treating other people and pets in bullying and shaming ways
Taking time to get to know a person before making a commitment gives you time to see how your partner acts in a variety of situations and with a variety of people. Even if you have taken the time to get to know someone before making a commitment, a person may conceal these abusive and controlling behaviors until you are fully committed in the relationship. There is nothing a person can do to deserve to be treated in any of these ways.
Reverend Dr. Sarah M. Rieth, Charlotte, NC.
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