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Advocate Response
Children may have difficulty expressing their feelings because they are not allowed to safely talk about the violence in their homes.
Children may have difficulty separating and forming their own individual identities separate from the abusers/victims since they are so “caught up” in the intense conflict.
Children may become easily frustrated, easily upset and easily unsettled.
Children may withdraw completely, creating a fantasy in which they live. (These children will need clinical intervention by a licensed professional therapist).
Children may have difficulty establishing healthy boundaries.
Children learn from example that violence is the only method of conflict resolution. They are not taught appropriate, healthy methods of expressing emotions, thus using violence exclusively.
Children are often very fearful, anxious and constantly in anticipation of the next violent episode in their homes.
Children may exhibit “failure to thrive” symptoms, patterns of over-compliance and fearfulness, low self-esteem and distrust of close relationships and adults.
Children are conflicted about “taking sides” with parents; they experience confusion and guilt about being placed “in the middle” by an abusive parent.
Children have problems relating to authority and often blame the victim for the violence. Particularly for older, male children who lived in domestic violence for an extended period of time, female authority figures are rejected.
Marie White, MSW, LCSW, Mecklenburg County Women's Commission - HERO Program, Charlotte, North Carolina
Advocate Response
One of the most serious aspects about domestic violence is how it affects the next generation, either through child abuse or through children witnessing violence in the home. Emery and Lauman- Billings (1998) state that: “40% to 75% of children exposed to domestic violence are estimated to be victims of physical child abuse also and children living with an abused mother have been found to be 12 to 14 times more likely to be sexually abused.” Children who witness battering are as affected as those who are direct victims of violence themselves (Jaffe, 1986).
The traumatic impact of abuse ranges from somatic affects such as headaches, stomach aches, nightmares, insomnia, bedwetting and diarrhea, to behavioral and personality problems including moodiness, irritability, low frustration tolerance, poor performance, distractibility, and self-mutilation. Not only does it exact a very heavy physical, social and emotional price from those directly affected, children who witness, or experience abuse within their families are at increased risk to use abusive behaviors within their own intimate relationships – thus perpetuating violence into the next generation.
Children who have witnessed domestic violence in their homes are more than twice as likely to be physically aggressive as those who have not witnessed violence. These children are more likely to commit delinquent acts against property and to display emotional disorders and hyperactivity. McKay (1994) determined that children from homes where domestic violence occurs are physically or sexually abused and/or seriously neglected at a rate fifteen times the national average. Early victimization, including physical, sexual and emotional abuse, plays an extremely important and often paramount role in affecting that a girl will enter the juvenile justice system and it contributes significantly to delinquency, adult criminality, and violent criminal behavior. Almost 70% of girls in the juvenile justice system have histories of physical abuse, compared with 20% of teenage females in the general population (Lederman and Brown 2000). In one study, over 50% of young offenders charged with crimes against people were found to have been exposed to domestic violence as children (Jaffe, 1987).
EFFECTS ON CHILDREN
0-5 YEARS
- physical complaints
- sleep disturbances
- bed wetting
- excessive separation anxiety
- clingy and anxious
- failure to thrive
6-12 YEARS
- behave in ways to reduce tension
- attempt to control parental violence
- fear being abandoned
- fear being killed or fear themselves killing
- fear their own and others’ anger
- eating disorders
- insecure and distrustful of their enviornment
13 + YEARS
- alcohol and drug use
- running away
- early pregnancy and marriage
- suicidal thoughts and actions
- criminal activities
Inability to concentrate, disturbing other children or disruption and conflict with authorities often result in poor academic performance. These children often end up being labeled by the system as problem children. The end result for some children may be running away, becoming involved in drug and alcohol abuse, or even committing suicide. The problems resulting from the violence are not resolved, but passed on to the next generation.
Karen Walroth Executive Director Action Committee against Violence Calgary, AB
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