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Advocate Response
Well, they say that the best research now is that one in three women is abused. I know in my experience, it is just unbelievably common. I continue to be amazed at this. No matter where I go -whether it’s church, a social event, or a grocery store - if the topic comes up, I find myself with victims, survivors or family members who want to talk. I seem to constantly be handing out my business cards. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me, but then my friends and family members, who now also “have their antennae’s up” about abuse, tell me the same thing. It’s as if once you can recognize it, it seems to be all around you. I think it’s hard for most people to believe this is true, because it’s a really uncomfortable truth. Once we understand that a problem is so widespread, we can’t go back to our ignorance, so it’s much easier to think that those of us who work in this field exaggerate, or that it only happens in “those” families. The truth is, victims almost always minimize or deny the abuse, and so what we see is surely just the tip of the iceberg. This is true whether it’s a pregnant teenager, a gay man or a battered wife. It’s much easier for us to keep our heads in the sand, because acknowledging the enormity of the problem means that we may have to get out of our comfort zone and do something about it.
Survivor and Domestic Violence Advocate, Charlotte, NC
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