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Therapist Response
Since not all abuse is the same, warning signs, other than being controlling, might be related to interpersonal communication when one partner understands the words and actions of the other as mean, yet the person being unkind insists they are being misunderstood or are only teasing.
Another sign of an abusive person is when you find that your partner seems to feel good about himself while pointing out your mistakes or weaknesses. Perhaps you are the object of his humor and you find it embarrassing and/or hurtful – not funny. When it feels to you that in the eyes of your partner you do little right, and in fact he indicates he is doing you a favor by putting up with you, that is warning sign of abuse.
When one partner is enhancing or attempting to enhance his self-perception and/or his life circumstances at the expense of, and to the detriment of his partner, that is abuse.
Carolyn Rexius, LCSW Executive Director Christians as Family Advocates Eugene, Oregon
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