Love Is/Love Isn’t

An activity designed to get teens thinking about the variety of messages that they have received about love.

This is an activity designed to get teens thinking about the variety of messages that they have received about love and what they themselves think about what love is and is not.

Media messages:

Obtain a variety of popular youth and teen magazines (enough so everyone has access to a magazine), scissors and tape.  Invite teens to look through the magazines for pictures that portray messages about what love is.  Some of these messages they will agree with and some they won’t.  They should try to find at least one picture of what love is and one picture that depicts for them something that love isn’t.

Have two large pieces of paper on the wall, one titled “Love Is” and another titled “Love Isn’t.”  Have teens tape their pictures on the appropriate papers.  After everyone has done this, invite the teens to explain why they chose the pictures they did.  Have someone record short phrases that are raised, again under columns of “love is” and “love isn’t.”  These could also be written on paper on the wall for all to see.

Musical messages:

If the teens have access to computers and the internet, have them find songs on You Tube that illustrate different dimensions of love.  Get them to read through the lyrics and analyze them for different messages about love.  Encourage them to find a song that has messages about love that they agree with and one song that has messages they disagree with.  Have them explain their choices to the rest of the group.

Biblical messages:

Have enough bibles on hand for the teens to work together in groups of two.  Divide the following scripture passages among the pairs.  Simply tell them that these passages deal with a variety of understandings of love and relationships.  See if they can identify what the passages seem to be saying about what love is or what love isn’t.

As the teens are explaining their pictures, song, scripture passages, and their thoughts about what love is and what it isn’t, be prepared to raise some questions or make comments based on the following:

Negotiation and Fairness: Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict.  Accepting changes.  Being willing to compromise.

Respect:  Listen to one another non-judgmentally.  Being emotionally affirming and understanding.  Valuing each other’s opinions.

Trust and Support: Supporting one another’s goals in life.  Respecting each other’s rights to your own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.

Honesty and Accountability:  Accepting responsibility for self.  Acknowledging past use of violence.  Admitting being wrong.  Communicating openly and truthfully.

Non-Threatening Behavior:  Talking and acting so that each person feels safe and comfortable expressing themselves and doing things.

(Adapted from the Equality Wheel, National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence, www.ncdsv.org)