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Stories of Hope and Inspiration After Violence Response from a Probation Officer1. What are Bill’s greatest needs at this time?
Bill is right. Change is a process and does not occur over night. Researchers Prochaska and DiClemente (1992) identified various stages of change people go through. It appears Bill is in the action stage by attending a faith-based program. More importantly, he is verbalizing personal benefits derived from attending the program. If Bill is in the action stage, it is important to support his efforts until he reaches the Maintenance stage and then support him in this stage of change.
It appears Bill has passed through the valley of shadow when he was placed in prison. It appears he is now on a mountain top experience. There is a scriptural admonition that might be wise for all involved to keep in the back of mind.
I Corinthians 10:12: Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.
This is a gentle reminded to keep vigilant and watchful. It is important when everything seems to be going right and going our way that something does not occur that throws Bill off balance.
Bill’s greatest need is to be supported in his current efforts, for Bill to remain transparent and accountable to assist him to guard against regression.
2. What might a local congregation offer to a man in Bill’s situation?
Each local congregation is unique in its composition of members and depends upon the gifting of each member. In general, and ideally, the local congregation would provide Bill with support similar to what is received from an extended family. Another venue or option for Bill might be to attend a men’s group or an accountability group. In each case, there is sometimes a gap between what is ideal and what is real. The two key elements are support and accountability.
3. How might pastoral care dovetail with support offered by the faith-based batterer intervention program?
It is important for those providing pastoral care to exercise active listening skills. If the opportunity presents itself, pastoral care workers need to work collaboratively with those providing the faith-based program. When Bill expresses the benefits derived from attending the group, he should also be seeking scriptural references to help him grow in faith and understanding.
Those who are offering pastoral care should be encouraged to take some training in the area of domestic violence. Those entering the ministry do so with the right motives for being in service. However, without proper training, it may be possible to give Bill mixed messages or the wrong message from the scriptures. This may affect Bill adversely or have adverse effects upon the group when Bill is asked to share his experiences.
4. What does Bill’s life help us to understand about the nature of hope?
Can Bill learn to be a husband as Christ is to the Church? Can Bill regain custody of his daughter and learn to be a loving father to his daughter as his Heavenly Father is to him?
God is a God of redemption. God is in the business of restoring and healing. God is a God of second chances. Everything in our life happens for a reason.
There are lessons in life that keep us humble. There is always reason to hope for the future. Bill needs to set noble goals and keep on the noble path to reach them.
He will not be able to do this on his own or in his own strength. God places the right people in our life for a reason.
Bruce Llewellyn, Calgary, AB |
