Stories of Hope and Inspiration After Violence Stories of Hope - Lesson #2 Advice Police Officer Response

Response from a Police Officer

1.    What are Pete’s greatest needs at this time in his life?

For others to be protected from him! Once a batterer, always a batterer! I think his alcoholism and drug problem is something that I have rarely seen go away. Even when it subsides for years it only takes one event (slip-up) to set it off again. When that happens he will again sell his soul for the high he once knew, and his violence towards others, especially a woman in a romantic relationship with him, will be much worse. I have seen countless
cases of men whom I have met in the beginning of my career as a police officer who started off with a call to their home for a minor assault of a female early on in their relationship. This includes anything from a slap to a punch. As time went on I found myself returning to this home over and over again, with each time the assaults getting worse. In almost every
case alcohol or drug abuse was involved as a starting point for the assault. I have worked many of these assault cases that unfortunately ended in homicide. I have seen batterers move on to different relationships with different women and the assaults usually pick up where he left off.  Now I know there are a few exceptions to the rule out there, but in my fourteen years as a police officer I have not met this exception. I know I sound jaded on this subject, but I can’t just say he might get better with help. I think people who exhibit this type of repeated behavior are doomed to spend their lives in and out of prison.

2.    What might a local congregation offer to a man in Pete’s situation?

I believe a starting point would be not to cover up his situation with the churches “Turn the other cheek” policy of forgiveness because this guy will sucker punch you when you let your guard down. Then there will be all the news reports of people who knew him saying he was a church going fellow, and I can’t believe he would do something like that.

3.    How might pastoral care dovetail with support offered by the faith-based batterer
intervention program?

My personal opinion is that the church should stay out of trying to “intervene” between a couple as in Pete’s case where he has assaulted the woman. I know that pastors believe that they can help everyone and I have seen in personal experiences a pastor try to provide marriage counselling to a couple where domestic violence was an issue. Giving advice such as “God will show you the path” or “God is testing you” is not helpful and

can cause more harm! If a pastor suspects domestic violence is going on they should not hesitate in helping the woman out of the relationship or calling the police because it is not going to get better. I have sat in a church where a woman and her husband came every week. Every week the woman came with cuts and bruises on her face. The woman never said anything to anyone, but everyone knew what was going on. No one would say or do
anything because they just couldn’t believe that it was going on in their church.

4.    What challenges does ministering to a man like Pete present to a religious leader?

Keeping him accountable regarding his alcohol and drug abuse problems, making amends to those he’s wronged, and making sure that, given his past  behavior, you are vigilant that this problem could arise again and people  need to be protected.  Do not hesitate to call the police.

Officer Richard Greene Charlotte, NC